I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize