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Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
