she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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