3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
