Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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