i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
