I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
