I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize