Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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