Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
