i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
