so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
