After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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