Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My liver just broke up with me...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
