Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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