why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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