Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
