Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
