We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
