White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I want to be your penis for a week.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
