The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
