its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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