I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
