dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
