i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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