party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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