I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
