YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
