he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My life is pants optional.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
