its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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