I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
