Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
