not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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