I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
