she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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