This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
