All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He called his prostate his "boner button".
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
