I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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