What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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