I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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