I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
