you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
