I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
