Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No subtext here. People are naked.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
