There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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