You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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