whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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