he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
