please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
