Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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