I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
