btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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