thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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