i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize