i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
