I think I died a long time ago.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
