the condom got lost in my hair
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
