i already hear my dad disowning me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
