I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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