my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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