Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
