i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Welp...herpes.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize