Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
