Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
